Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We just shotgunned beers for America
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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