going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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