I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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