dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
