I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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