arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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