A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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