Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I bet he comes in French.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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