So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
