I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
