Soap is not a condiment
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
