Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My bed smells like the plague
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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