I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
