that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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