I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that's an acceptable place to lick
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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