Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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