and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
