this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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