Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
