what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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