I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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