What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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