my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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