I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
