I cannot find my penis.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
