i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
