I just threw up on my dentist
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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