she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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