it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
