Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
