can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
