idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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