I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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