I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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