hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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