Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have post one night stand depression
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
