I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
