Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
