i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He's a Shit stain on my heart
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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