i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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