I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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