I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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