So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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