Too much gin, very little bucket
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
