I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
