She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
