i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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