Me too!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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