Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
