it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
