there was a trapeze. enough said
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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