on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
