I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
this will be a night to untag.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
