I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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