ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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