My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
