just tell him i said nine months
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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