I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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