The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
