I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
