I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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