We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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