the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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