closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I party with great urgency now.
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