your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
