Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he fucked my hip out of place.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
