party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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