where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
