do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
