you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He passed out mid-signature
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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