Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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