I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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