Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
