Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
